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W tee Eff?!

Discussion in 'Off-Topic English' started by ShaeKonnit, Jan 15, 2018.

  1. Pierzasty

    Pierzasty Null-Space Entity

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    Yet another FTL chat.

    I'm more and more convinced that humanity doesn't have FTL travel because everyone who discovers it immediately uses it to move light years away from the local morons.
     
    Barrogh, xagroth, Belgrim and 5 others like this.
  2. leigen_zero

    leigen_zero Morat Pacifist

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    Where does this newly-opened wormhole lead?
    Earth
    Quick shut it, shut it, shut the damn thing before they notice it

    Though to be honest, that's the most believable solution to the Fermi Paradox I've heard in a while
    We shall call it the 'Pierzasty Solution':
    'Any sufficiently advanced civilisation that is capable of super-luminal travel is sufficiently advanced to know which civilisations should never be given super-luminal drive technology'
     
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  3. Pierzasty

    Pierzasty Null-Space Entity

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    Not at all. Technical or scientific advances do not imply similar levels of common sense.
     
    prophet of doom likes this.
  4. Icchan

    Icchan Well-Known Member

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    'Any sufficiently advanced civilisation that is capable of super-luminal travel is sufficiently advanced to know stay the fuck away from Earth'
    There. Fixed it for you.
     
    chromedog likes this.
  5. colbrook

    colbrook Grenade Delivery Specialist

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    A new colleague of mine recently moved here from Bermuda, below is the accepted formal wear:
    775843dbc663ac9ae22f8aee701dd3c0.jpg
    Lawyers, accountants, and executives all wandering around in bright pink shorts and suits.
     
  6. ShaeKonnit

    ShaeKonnit Well-Known Member

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    Had a WtF from the neighbours at the weekend.
    It's a family with 3 kids. The wife drives a 4x4 bratmobile, the husband drives a scooter. The husband deliberately avoids having a car, specifically so that he doesn't ever have to pick up the kids from anywhere or, indeed, have to take them anywhere.
    I don't think I've ever heard of someone chosing a method of transport purely to avoid their own kids.

    And once again we have a WtF from the wife's sister and her pet idiot ex-boyfriend. I mentioned on the old forum that she had finally broken up with him (but still slept with him, which did send some conflicting messages) but now she has made the final steps of moving out from their old, dirty, cluttered, stinking apartment.
    While we're at it, here's a bit of a reminder on the story of that apartment; they used to live in a much better apartment in a very nice area with a great sea view and everything you'd ever need within walking distance; supermarkets, restaurants and pubs. Problem was they never did go out anywhere; just stayed in. One day the pet idiot decided they should move out and into another apartment which they would share with his bestestest friend in the whole wide world, and save them some money. New place was in a shitty area, views of a disused gasworks, and situated immediately above an off-license and chinese take-away. The bestestet friend and his girlfriend also moved out after a couple of months, leaving them paying the full rent anyway.

    Well, since they've now broken up completely and she's moved to Canada to live with Minecraft Guy for the next 3 months, the pet idiot is also moving out. He had a shitload of boxes ordered to shift his ridiculously large cd, dvd, music memorabelia and manga collection to the new place, arranged under guidance from wife's sister. Since he now has the space to have his own ideas, he happened upon a bargain he could not ignore - a load of very very large cardboard boxes for £150. I can only guess he must have thought these boxes would be more efficient than a load of smaller ones, so proceeded to fill each one with maybe 60kg+ of assorted, loose goods.
    When the removal men arrived, upon seeing these boxes and giving them a tentative nudge, they promptly told the pet idiot to fuck right off, and shift the contents out and into the mass of smaller boxes which now lay empty and unused - there was no way they'd shift that lot down the narrow flight of stairs to their van, even if the paltry amount of tape holding them shut didn't split within seconds of them being lifted.
    The pet idiot also never considered they might want all the furniture he wanted to take disassembled, so they'd actually be able to fit it out the door never mind in the van. Such items included an Ikea king-sized bed which wife's sister and her pet idiot had trouble getting in through the door in the first place, even when it was still in flat packs.
    (Their entry door opens perpendicularly into the central corridor of the apartment, you see, and has barely 4ft between the door jamb and the facing wall.). So the bed and various other wooden items had to be reduced to their component parts.
    Repacking everything and disassembling the furniture on the removal mens' time cost a lot extra (though he didn't disclose how much) and a job that should have been completed by late afternoon now lasted from 10am to 11pm.

    I'm not sure he can be trusted to live safely on his own. I wouldn't be all that surprised to hear if he'd burned the place down while alphabetising his manga, or managed to cut his own head off while sorting a bowl of cereal.
     
    Barrogh, xagroth, jfunkd and 2 others like this.
  7. tox

    tox SorriBarai
    Warcor

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    Not sure if serious...

    We almost assisted to a similar WTF-Moving out. A friend of us pretended to move his bedroom (bed and closet 3mt x 2 mt) without dismantle them. My girlfriend and me tried to persuade him that it was not possible, we succeeded only after he tried to lift the closet. With clothes in.
     
    xagroth, chromedog and Durian Khaar like this.
  8. Durian Khaar

    Durian Khaar It's clubbering time...
    Warcor

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  9. Section9

    Section9 Well-Known Member

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    There's a reason that brightly colored, lightweight shorts of that length are called "Bermuda Shorts" in the US. (As I understand it, it started out with a shortage of suit material...)
     
  10. ShaeKonnit

    ShaeKonnit Well-Known Member

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    Well, I hear that the moving got even worse.
    The pet idiot was downsizing - he knew he was moving into a smaller place. When I mentioned earlier he had ridiculously large collections, I really mean it; as soon as he gets paid he spends it all almost immediately on all sorts of assorted garbage. If there's a new "limited edition" or alternative cover art of an album or DVD he already owns 3 or 4 copies of, he will still buy it to complete the collection.
    The result of this is that he has nowhere to store it all.
    The new apartment is stacked near enough floor-to-ceiling with boxes, and are so tightly packed he can't actually open them.

    Fail to plan; you plan to fail and all that...
     
    xagroth likes this.
  11. colbrook

    colbrook Grenade Delivery Specialist

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    100% true, my Mother-in-law works for a company based in Bermuda and has corroborated the story.

    I have no idea how she attends board meetings at head office without dissolving into a fit of giggles at all the serious businessmen walking around in pastel shorts.
     
  12. Pierzasty

    Pierzasty Null-Space Entity

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    They know you're cut out for the job when you can conduct serious business negotiations wearing a suit jacket and garish pink shorts.
     
    Barrogh and tox like this.
  13. colbrook

    colbrook Grenade Delivery Specialist

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    It's the knee high socks that get me ...
     
  14. chromedog

    chromedog Less than significant minion

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    It was a men's fashion "rule" thing ... something about long socks with shorts (short socks were not acceptable) - it went out the window in most places when the "hat" rule went out (men stopped wearing hats for the most part in the early 60s here. Not counting the fedora wearing hipsters around here (mostly to cover up their redonkulous man-buns).
     
  15. ShaeKonnit

    ShaeKonnit Well-Known Member

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    A fashion among hispsters round here, which I find particularly disgusting, is where they stuff their XL bodies into M clothing.
    For many, they end up looking like a morbidly obese ventriloquist's dummy.
     
    Rizzy likes this.
  16. sonicReducer

    sonicReducer Well-Known Member

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    I salute this gentleman. I have 3 kids and I'll tell you something - transporting children can be pure hell. I hate doing the school run with a passion
     
  17. Pierzasty

    Pierzasty Null-Space Entity

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    Pff, look at all the copycats. Fat is so mainstream nowadays.
     
  18. Section9

    Section9 Well-Known Member

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    I was an XL body at my fighting weight: 6' and 192lbs, 17" neck, 48" or 50" chest, 30" waist. That's 182cm tall, 87kg, 48cm neck, 125cm chest, and 75cm waist for those people speaking metric.

    Then I messed up my back and gained a lot of weight from not running and still eating like I was running all the time. :sweat:
     
    xagroth likes this.
  19. DrunkCorsair

    DrunkCorsair Well-Known Member

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    You should try doggy transport boxes. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  20. Kahlain

    Kahlain Greeble-Faust investigator

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    I salute your attitude and effort: even Goddesses need love.

    Had a similar issue for years, then said "W T Effff." Met the gal who would become my wife -- a total and complete Goddess -- and had that initial wow reaction. I could see it in her eyes: "not this again."

    "W T Efff," I thought, "this is going nowhere cause she is way out of my league."

    Relaxed. Pretended she was just a normal, non-divine type person (very tough, tbh.) Got a second date, by playing it cool. She says, "I'm into you. You don't drool all over me like most guys do..."

    We will be married 20 years next spring.

    So, remember: "W T Eff." Words to live by.
     
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