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W tee Eff?!

Discussion in 'Off-Topic English' started by ShaeKonnit, Jan 15, 2018.

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  1. Section9

    Section9 Well-Known Member

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    Problem is, the little yappy 'dogs' are incapable of understanding. They are literally brain-damaged (the structures in the brain that are responsible for analyzing social cues are missing outright), and incapable of learning to read social cues.

    But it's always the big dog that gets blamed for their injuries.

    On a human, they can (eventually) learn. Usually over the course of a dozen or so ass-beatings that leave them in the hospital, caused by their alligator-sized mouth writing checks that their hummingbird-sized ass cannot cover.

    A yappy 'dog' gets into one fight and it's dead (or so injured it needs to be put down). And then their brainless owners demand that the dog who fought their "innocent little Fluffy" be put down because it's the violent one.
     
    #861 Section9, Feb 8, 2019
    jherazob, Musterkrux and chromedog like this.
  2. Pierzasty

    Pierzasty Null-Space Entity

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    Yeah, that's a problem.
     
    #862 Pierzasty, Feb 8, 2019
    chromedog likes this.
  3. Brother Smoke

    Brother Smoke Bureau Trimurti Representative

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    I've only ever been bitten by a pekinese and a chihuahua (as far as domestic dogs go, I've also been bit by a wild dog)

    Somehow they see me as a challenge
     
    #863 Brother Smoke, Feb 11, 2019
  4. colbrook

    colbrook Black Fryer

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    So the chap who was in charge of preventing and detecting insider trading at Apple just got arrested for insider trading !
     
    #864 colbrook, Feb 13, 2019
    chromedog likes this.
  5. tox

    tox SorriBarai
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    My sweet child of summer...
    This is the basis for a government intern in Italy. You do not have any F-idea of what you are doing, or you have pending penal/civil action in the same field.
     
    #865 tox, Feb 14, 2019
    Darkvortex87 likes this.
  6. Section9

    Section9 Well-Known Member

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    Set a thief to catch a thief, you know?
     
    #866 Section9, Feb 14, 2019
  7. tox

    tox SorriBarai
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    Nope again.
    Set a thief to make a (grand) theft...
     
    #867 tox, Feb 14, 2019
    Aldo likes this.
  8. Del S

    Del S Tunguskaball

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    Yeah, that works great in movies but in real life the better of the two thieves just nicks everything and runs away.
     
    #868 Del S, Feb 14, 2019
    chromedog likes this.
  9. colbrook

    colbrook Black Fryer

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    The government tiny little British Overseas Territory where I live has decided that getting a visit from the Prince of Wales and his other half is so important that we're getting a national holiday!

    A day off work definitely improves my opinion of ol' radar ears.
     
    #869 colbrook, Feb 22, 2019
  10. Section9

    Section9 Well-Known Member

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    Hey, he's got to be good for something! :laughing::innocent:
     
    #870 Section9, Feb 22, 2019
  11. leigen_zero

    leigen_zero Morat Pacifist

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    Reminds me of the cargo cult religion that worships his dad:
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prince_Philip_Movement

    Edit: thinking about it, due to the exchanges of a traditional tribal club for a signed photograph of the prince wielding said club, in terms of 'offerings made : divine gifts bestowed', he's currently the most (provabley) successful deity in that regard
     
    #871 leigen_zero, Feb 22, 2019
  12. colbrook

    colbrook Black Fryer

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    About the only thing he's ever been good for in my experience!
     
    #872 colbrook, Feb 22, 2019
  13. ShaeKonnit

    ShaeKonnit Well-Known Member

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    Haven't posted any of these in a while, but there have been a few WtFs going on.
    For starters the Biscuit situation isn't looking too good; wife's mother straight up said they regret getting her but the poor dog must be going mad.
    The mother treats her pretty rough when it comes to training (they expect her to understand full sentences in English) but the faither treats her like a baby - for him I think he loves Biscuit as an excuse generator. He just loves doing absolutely nothing and going nowhere, you see, so now if an opportunity for anything arises he'll say "Oh, sorry - can't leave the dog."
    We're still trying to say Biscuit should meet Tobert again at neutral ground but wife's faither is still being weird, saying Tobert attacked her "viciously" despite there being no blood and not even any biting; just noise. He also says he'd prefer to wait until Biscuit is bigger, "so she can put up a fight" which is just really fucking weird...

    Anyway, aside from all this dog bullshit I had a great one from the wonderful world of fluid dynamics.
    I had a pot that was used to make porridge sitting by the kitchen sink, filled with water to make the stuff easier to clean off. Hours later I come back to it and almost all the water is gone, leaving some hard porridge all over the insides.
    "WtF?" I say, wondering how this happened. I then notice the corner from a roll of paper towels hanging just inside the pot, leading to a mass of sodden, ruined paper towels.
    In a brilliant example of capillary action, the water was all absorbed into the paper towels through that single corner, over the space of several hours.
     
    #873 ShaeKonnit, Mar 3, 2019
    coleslaw, Xeurian, Errhile and 6 others like this.
  14. Durian Khaar

    Durian Khaar It's clubbering time...
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    While the Biscuit situation really sucks,

    Your venture into the world of liquids gave me a good laugh ;)
     
    #874 Durian Khaar, Mar 3, 2019
  15. Aldo

    Aldo Spare 15

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    He's real and he's not nailed to a cross, so that makes him the winner of the god wars and the one true god of this world.

    I guess we're not in the darkest timeline after all.
     
    #875 Aldo, Mar 4, 2019
    leigen_zero likes this.
  16. colbrook

    colbrook Black Fryer

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    Our visiting Canadian friend has brought us maple syrup in a bottle shaped like an ice hockey player.

    I'm struggling to think of a more Canadian gift!
     
    #876 colbrook, Mar 5, 2019
    Brother Smoke, jherazob, Xeurian and 1 other person like this.
  17. oldGregg

    oldGregg Well-Known Member

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    Did they apologize when giving it to you?
     
    #877 oldGregg, Mar 5, 2019
    Brother Smoke, ShaeKonnit, xagroth and 4 others like this.
  18. Brother Smoke

    Brother Smoke Bureau Trimurti Representative

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    My girlfriend and my dog have both had bronchitis for the past week

    No relation, but goddamn if it ain't a funny coincidence
     
    #878 Brother Smoke, Mar 11, 2019
  19. Pierzasty

    Pierzasty Null-Space Entity

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    So, anything happened?
     
    #879 Pierzasty, Mar 11, 2019
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  20. gamma ray

    gamma ray Well-Known Member
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    I completely forgot to update, thanks for the reminder! The substances are on the way, they're remarkably more expensive than we thought they'd be. Hopefully they'll be here in the next week or so.
     
    #880 gamma ray, Mar 11, 2019
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