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W tee Eff?!

Discussion in 'Off-Topic English' started by ShaeKonnit, Jan 15, 2018.

  1. Section9

    Section9 Well-Known Member

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    Very much this.

    It's one thing to tighten up a trim or fix a missed detail, and I will have them fix things on the spot.

    But to totally screw up a haircut? No, you can go without my business, and without the business of any of my friends, either.
     
  2. ShaeKonnit

    ShaeKonnit Well-Known Member

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    Well, I was at a 21st birthday of one of my cousins last night and that side of the family were all there... bar one couple.
    I have mentioned before, the mad antics of the wife of one of my cousins who has this child whom she seems to want to remain an infant forever.
    For those of you who may have missed this, amongst other weird behaviours she still breastfeeds the kid when he's old enough to cry, "No, mummy! No!" and tries to push her away.

    I suspected she may try homeschooling him so he doesn't get any big ideas about gaining independence from her and learning things she doesn't approve of. Well, it's happening - no school for this kid. She doesn't even like the rest of the family looking after him, since they might give him... ideas? I really don't know.
    Seems they also recently moved house and she ordered an extra large bed. This is so the kid can still sleep in the same bed as his parents - he does not have a bed of his own.
    This kid is now 5 years old.

    He's a Norman Bates in the making, I tell you.
     
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  3. Aldo

    Aldo Spare 15

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    Maybe someone should call the police...
     
  4. tdc

    tdc ALEPH Fragment
    Warcor

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    well... social services at any rate...
     
  5. Xeurian

    Xeurian Well-Known Member

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    Social services' SWAT team is the answer.
     
  6. Del S

    Del S Tunguskaball

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  7. colbrook

    colbrook Grenade Delivery Specialist

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    Dell's website auto detects what country I'm in, even has the right flag on the page, the country has been English speaking since the original settlers (no indigenous peoples), it's a British Overseas Territory and the official language is listed as English on both the official government websites and Wikipedia.

    Yet every time I visit it changes the language to Spanish! Not helpful Dell, not helpful at all!
     
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  8. Del S

    Del S Tunguskaball

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    Well, sorry, but I'm not actually a coder, I didn't even know I had a website!
     
  9. Pierzasty

    Pierzasty Null-Space Entity

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    Speaking of Dell, a friend once replaced a laptop charger and complained it wasn't working. It turned out that Dell swapped plus/minus on the new chargers. Same parameters, same connector, nothing to show there's been a change unless you were specifically looking for one.
     
  10. ShaeKonnit

    ShaeKonnit Well-Known Member

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    Some dog-related WtFs for today:
    One of my cousins recently told me that he was out walking around a park and spotted a woman meditating on the grass (people do all sorts in this park - meditating, drum circles, Wushu practice etc). This woman had her dog sitting next to her (henceforth referred to as ZenDog)
    Now, someone else nearby had their dog out for a walk, but off the lead (henceforth referred to as LooseDog). That person went to sit down on the grass for a few minutes while their dog ran off to play. LooseDog spotted ZenDog next to the meditating woman and went along to say hello.
    After the dogs nosed each other, LooseDog got up for a sniff at the meditating woman, who sat perfectly still and passive.
    LooseDog had a sniff, circled her a few times, lifted its leg and then pissed all down her back.

    Now, anyone who has a dog will know what happens next...

    ZenDog then got up, went round to sniff the woman's back, and promptly pissed all over her.
    To make matters worse, a third dog arrived, also off the lead, had a sniff and pissed all over the woman again.
    LooseDog was just about to make a second pass, but was quickly called away by its owner just as it was about to lift its leg.
    My cousin was almost doubled-up like a pen knife at this point.

    Similarly, I looked out my kitchen window yesterday to see my neighbour had one of their dogs out in their back yard, unattended. They also had some washing hanging out, and foolishly left a bedsheet hanging so far off the line that it was touching the ground.
    Their dog had a sniff, circled it a few times, and yup, pissed all over it.
     
    #270 ShaeKonnit, May 30, 2018
    Last edited: May 30, 2018
    Thrrax, Kahlain, chromedog and 5 others like this.
  11. tdc

    tdc ALEPH Fragment
    Warcor

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    See, having a (soon to be two) girl dogs means i've never had that issue... I have, however, had to clean of pee from my pups face when she got a little too inquisitive at precisely the wrong moment...
     
  12. Flipswitch

    Flipswitch Sepsitorised by Intent

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  13. H1ghlander

    H1ghlander Well-Known Member

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  14. Thrrax

    Thrrax New Member

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  15. Barrogh

    Barrogh Well-Known Member

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    Has he ever read police statistics on what items are most commonly involved in day-to-day violence? Kitchen cutlery was always known to be one of the most deadly things around due to sheer availability during exact moments people are likely to throw fits.

    I wonder what he will suggest when he sees what you can do with a screwdriver or something similar.
     
    chromedog likes this.
  16. ShaeKonnit

    ShaeKonnit Well-Known Member

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    Screwdriver, pen, pencil, beer bottle, scissors, candlestick - the list goes on.

    Oh, we recently had an update from Autism Quest. She has been very quiet about any progress on her quest, so I'm thinking she may have given up since she couldn't find any doctors willing to assign her the condition without any evidence beyond her own feelings.
    Since it's Pride Month she has decided that this would be an ideal time to claim more oppression points by telling everyone what her special labels are. Now, I don't really do any research into these terms, but there were a few on her list which just don't add up, to me...
    Some choice labels included Polyamorous, Cissexual, Invisibly Queer (?) and, to top it all off... Asexual.
    As I said, I don't do much research into this stuff, but I was under the impression that if you're Asexual (as in no sexuality at all), then you can't rightly be any other -sexual?
     
  17. leigen_zero

    leigen_zero Morat Pacifist

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    Finds every sexuality attractive, but too uptight to actually bang anyone.

    The thing with labels, is that everyone seems to find a way to shoehorn themselves into one, I'd say at least half of the people who label themselves 'polyamorous' actually mean 'internally trying to justify unnecessarily elaborate sexual fantasties involving a celebrity/work colleague'
     
  18. ShaeKonnit

    ShaeKonnit Well-Known Member

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    Or maybe she actually does just lay back and think of England.
    Autism Quest does come across as the type of person who needs a label. I think I have mentioned before that I suspect it's a psychological ploy to divorce herself from having any responsibility at all - that any of her life choices can be blamed on one of the labels.
    That's the ultimate goal of the quest for austism - it's the holy grail in that regard. Once she has autism then she thinks she'll have the ultimate excuse for everything.
    Can't hold down a job working for a fucking bird charity? Autism!
    No real friends? Autism!
    etc
     
    #278 ShaeKonnit, Jun 6, 2018
    Last edited: Jun 6, 2018
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  19. Pierzasty

    Pierzasty Null-Space Entity

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    You know what they say: the willing seek ways, the unwilling seek excuses.
     
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  20. ShaeKonnit

    ShaeKonnit Well-Known Member

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    Boy, that's for sure.
    Now, I know it may sound mean my mentioning she has no real friends but we tried. Oh, how we tried...
    She used to be part of a fairly large circle of friends but then she started hanging out with this group of furries, which became the start of her problems with psychological crutches. They were a circle jerk of self-diagnosed mental disorders and could ruin the atmosphere at an orgy in a vineyard with Jimi Hendrix manifesting with a band of Seraphim to play a medley of his hits.
    I mean it really - they once turned up, uninvited, to accompany Autism Quest to a Halloween party and wore all their fursona getup - every one of them ended up crying at some point in the night while telling people of all their illnesses prescribed by Dr.Internet; it was so strange.
    Later on it was revealed they weren't just furries; they were werewolves. They didn't physically transform into wolves, oh no - that would just be ridiculous. Instead, they claimed to take on the spirit of a wolf, which makes perfect sense. They still did all the howling and shit, though.

    That became Autism Quest's group of friends, as they encouraged her to stop seeing the rest of us since we weren't supportive and welcoming enough of their true, spiritual sides, or some shit like that - real Scientology-grade stuff. Hell, whenever we were out in Glasgow and saw her with her "friends" at a restaurant or something, she'd spot us, panic, put on her Wile E. Coyote-sized wolf ears and pretend not to notice us.

    A short time later she could not longer buy into their bullshit, had some falling outs with the ringleaders so they all turned on her in a heartbeat and she was ostracized by this group of supportive, welcoming, spiritual werewolves.

    Since then she's been fishing for pity points on Soshul Meedja, complaining about people not understanding her, accusing everyone of gaslighting and, of course, looking for a doctor who will diagnose her with Autism, no questions asked.
     
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