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Gratuitous Morat Jokes

Discussion in 'Combined Army' started by Wolf, Feb 18, 2018.

  1. Wolf

    Wolf https://watchwolf.net

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    1st Morat: <walks into bar> Sumi Na Rat!
    All Morats: <together> Sumi Na Rat!
    1st Morat: <in loud voice> Say warriors, why do you think Tohaa wear all those belt straps?
    All Morats: <confusion; puzzled frowns; mild distaste for mentioning the weaker race>
    1st Morat: <producing from pocket and brandishing above head> Hah!
    asparagus-bunch.jpg
    All Morats: <together> HAH!!! <gales of xenophobic laughter; general admiration for 1st Morat's sophisticated humour>
     
    #1 Wolf, Feb 18, 2018
    Last edited: Feb 19, 2018
  2. leigen_zero

    leigen_zero Morat Pacifist

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    How many Morats does it take to change a lightbulb?
    One
    One Morat is sufficient in both skill and height to change a lightbulb, and the grand supremacy looks down in mocking at all inferior species that require multiple of their kind to perform such a basic task as changing a lightbulb!
     
  3. xagroth

    xagroth Mournful Echo

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    A Suryat does no need lightbulbs. A suryat carries the Flaming Light everywhere! :p
     
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  4. paraelix

    paraelix Well-Known Member

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    6 - one 5-man fireteam to clear the building and 1 to do the lightbulb. But Morats work for the group, not for the individual - so the credit goes to the regiment.
     
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  5. Wolf

    Wolf https://watchwolf.net

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    Ok ... Morat Sexist Joke

    Q. How many Morat wives does it take to change a lightbulb?
    A. Never mind the damned lightbulb, what are they doing out of their hunting party?
    When I get back home after a hard day's working for the EI, I expect to find meat on the table - still steaming from the kill, and my wife challenging me to a duel for the right to eat first!
     
  6. Herr Hörn

    Herr Hörn Well-Known Member

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    Anyone got any "An Umbra, a Shasvastii and a Morat walk into a bar" jokes?
     
  7. itsuncertainwho

    itsuncertainwho Well-Known Member

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    An Umbra and a Shasvastii walk into a bar. The Morat waits outside for his regiment to join him.


    An Umbra and a Shasvastii walk into a bar, the Morat doesn't. His Raktorak has anticipated his needs and has a drink ready for him before the others suggested going to the bar in the first place.
     
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  8. Wolf

    Wolf https://watchwolf.net

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    Oooooh, harsh! :grin:
     
  9. DaRedOne

    DaRedOne Morat Warrior Philosopher
    Warcor

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    This one makes me laugh. I write an ongoing story mostly about morats, can I use this joke on it?
     
  10. Wolf

    Wolf https://watchwolf.net

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    I'd be delighted, of course; but can we get a link to your story?
     
  11. DaRedOne

    DaRedOne Morat Warrior Philosopher
    Warcor

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  12. leigen_zero

    leigen_zero Morat Pacifist

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    A krakot walks into a bar, upon the wall he sees a sign:
    'Defeat the barkeep's challenge, drink here for free for life'
    Not one to turn down a challenge, he asks the morat behind the bar what the challenge is,
    'The challenge? First you have to drink a whole gallon of habanero vodka, then out back there's a Gaki with a tooth that needs pulling, you have to do it with your bare hands, and upstairs there is a Oznat who has never felt the savage ecstasty of the morat orgasm, you have to provide her with such an experience'
    'Oh', says the Krakot, 'Pint of beer please'
    Many, many pints of courage later, the Krakot staggers to his feet, 'Barkeep!' he slurs 'I achshept your *hic* challengsh'.

    So the barkeep produces a vast bucket of habenero vodka, the Krakot grabs the bucket and downs the fiery liquor, sweating and belching he lurches out into the backyard of the bar.

    Half an hour later, the Krakot staggers back in, his clothing ripped to shreds and covered in scratches and clawmarks. 'Right' he calls to the barkeep 'Whersh that Oshnat with a shore tooth?'
     
    Flipswitch, WarHound, Zagard and 8 others like this.
  13. reaper1714

    reaper1714 Annoying genocidal machine

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    Had me rofl for 5 minutes
     
  14. Wolf

    Wolf https://watchwolf.net

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    NOW we've raised the bar! :grin:

    I haven't played this faction long, but just knew there had to an untapped seam of Morat humour just waiting to be mined!
     
  15. Wolf

    Wolf https://watchwolf.net

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  16. DaRedOne

    DaRedOne Morat Warrior Philosopher
    Warcor

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    Not so much jokes, but some funny dialogues I've had recently:

    "How do you call those monkeys with the MSV2?"
    "Yaogats"
    "I call them bastards."

    "You know, morats aren't really monkeys. They're more like ungulates, like pigs and boars"
    "Does that mean I can make morat sausage?"

    "Okay, my krakot is charging Bran do Castro"
    "He has martial arts 3."
    "I have berzerk"
    *Roll off, both dudes are left unconscious*
    "Now I roll for regeneration"
    "IT CAN REGENERATE?!"
     
  17. Wolf

    Wolf https://watchwolf.net

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    Yeah, that's the reaction we're looking for! :smile:
     
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  18. Sabin76

    Sabin76 Well-Known Member

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    Was the opponent not paying attention to the MC roll?
     
  19. DaRedOne

    DaRedOne Morat Warrior Philosopher
    Warcor

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    You'd be surprised how often they don't when you've got 2-3 krakots on the table. They just look at them and go "neh, they're some monkey warband"
     
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  20. leigen_zero

    leigen_zero Morat Pacifist

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    Metachemistry got a lot better in N3 as well, especially L2

    Remember back in N2 when I played bakunin and 2 of my 4 morlocks rolled an x-visor...