A series of increasingly improbable events

[ This narrative concludes Yue Fei's campaign and follows the events of https://shattergrounds.warconsole.com/battles/yue-fei-vs-sir-wall-1697585330. Unfortunately I didn't get a chance to play a game this weekend and use it, so I'm dropping it here. ]



"Yue Fei, if you're awake, we need to talk. Aleph has applied statistical models to your last two engagements and come to an alarming conclusion."

Yue Fei woke, in his second new Lhost in ten days. Celestial Zhou was nowhere to be seen and this time the disconcerting eyes of a Deva Functionary were the first he saw. The precise and slightly cold voice that had woken him clearly belonged to this synthetic agent of ALEPH.

"You are the nexus of a sequence of increasingly improbable quantum events. This reached an alarming crescendo during your last engagement when the boundaries of the Huaqiao QAZ shifted to encompass your engagement with the Military Orders."

"What does that mean? Did I make some mistake?" His post-resurrection memories of his engagement with Sir John Valdez seemed like a hallucination and made little sense. At least his memory of the pain seemed real. He reflexively put his hand to his ribs, where the Knight's sword had punched through his body, somehow expecting to feel a scar. Of course, the skin of the new LHOST was completely unmarked.

"We have conducted an exhaustive statistical and tactical analysis of both your engagements. You made few, if any, mistakes. We estimate a lower than 2% probability for you to be killed in a gunfight with a moderator," waiting a second or two to make her point, she continued. "The probability for a Knight of Justice to make it through your defensive screen and field of suppressive fire was a fraction of a percent at best, and for him to win combat with you and Adil was even more unlikely."

"Our model of the universe suggests that our universe is just one amongst multiple possible universes in a multi-dimensional quantum probability field, and that every concrete decision point we observe takes us further down a timeline in just one of these possible universes. There is a grave danger that your continued role in this engagement is interacting somehow with the T'Zechi Digester to force increasingly unlikely decision paths. In the twentieth century, this was colorfully imagined as the 'stupidest timeline.'"

"Whether this hypothesis is true or false, there are burdensome logistical implications on your unit. The invoice from the C.R.A.S.H.E.Rs that retrieved your cube from the QAZ was sizeable. Then there is the matter of resurrections, which always carry an astronomical cost. As you know, we operate with an actuarial model to guarantee the availability of Silk and new LHOSTs to senior Yu Jing staff, however I have been asked to warn you that we have no further resurrections prepared for you. If you die again, it may be some time before we can bring you back."

"It is unfortunate, but we believe that you should be removed from active combat duty. If you were to continue to insert yourself onto the battlefield you might interact with the boundaries of the Quantum Anomaly Zones in a catastrophic fashion. In fact, though it might not be through conscious action, the dire circumstances Yu Jing's forces on Concilium Prima find themselves in could be entangled with and caused by your choices. This is a topic for further research."

"Finally, we have to pass on sincere apologies from the tattooist. It seems that they were under extreme pressure and somehow misprogrammed their tattooing device. The mistake will take hours to fix and there simply isn't time right now, the Concilium Security Crisis Committee has requested that you join them in person to assess the situation at Huaqiao Energy Research Center."

Glancing in the mirror at the words on his back as he dressed, he read 好漢饒命 [1]. Covering it quickly with his shirt, he began to worry there might be some truth to the Deva's theory.

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[1] Translates, roughly, to "Bro, spare my life"
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