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3rd Offensive Book Feedback - constructive with love

Discussion in 'News' started by lord farfhocel, Dec 2, 2018.

  1. Alkasyn

    Alkasyn Well-Known Member

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    Seeing how this thread got already derailed I am unsure if it is worth to post regarding the original content, but here goes:

    3rd Offensive is a better book than Uprising, mostly due to layout and the colours chosen - green and white is easier on the eyes than orange was.

    Regarding the impersonalised content describing the military manouvres - it's less boring than Uprising, which had the aura of sketch-book notes, but it is still poor. Not knowing all those people and places it reads like a history book about something we do not really care for.

    The worst offender for me is the editorial quality of the book. To me, it seems that either the ESP-ENG translator was rushing their work or they simply have a lot to learn. Language-wise the book is rather poor, with repetitions running rampant (the nods to Australains in the Varuna chapter were especially jarring for me - I get it, they're Australians, but no need to repeat it twice in 2 consecutive paragraphs), common grammatical mistakes (sentence structure all jumbled up and no good grasp of the / a, which is unacceptable at this level), typos (Bayarak Army Group called Bajarak Army Group in a subsequent paragraph).

    That, together with the usual dryness of parts of the fluff that we already take as granted (unit descriptions being a parody where each unit is the most baddas, meanest, toughest MOFO there is) and some new offenders, like 'copy-paste' parts of images (look at the Helot charge comic, where both the Kamau and Helots are simply copied and resized, or at the Zhencha cave, where the Zhencha standing in line are the same graphical element copied side by side) means to me that the current pace of the books is unsustainable to the company.

    A lot of the material in the book was repetition of what we already know. The world-building, when it happened, was uninteresting - I do not care for how archipelagos are called on Varuna, I'd much rather read about something interesting that happened on one of them and leave the rest just names that can live on in the reader's imagination.

    I'd rather have less higher quality, like HSN3 or N3, which although not flawless, were at least partially entertaining.

    All in all, although I bounced off Malifaux, I think they are doing background in the best possible way - there's a lot of nuance and place for imagination and player stories in their approach that uses short pieces of narrative to describe a particular event from a single POV.
     
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  2. Soter

    Soter Active Member

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    But I think he´s right though.

    For example, my wife is Arab, and not only she isn´t offended by this kind of miniatures, but she feels it refreshing that a woman can be portrayed in such a way. It is a freedom they have lost in their homeland. And in her eyes, the fact that there is pin-up/ sexy representations of a woman is healthier than having to cover the female body as something shameful (as they sadly do now in her country)

    So culture is indeed relevant in this thing.

    And about the other things, I do agree with the issue of the maps, they seem a bit irrelevant... It is good to have them, but I don´t feel they truly help to visualize the action.
     
  3. lord farfhocel

    lord farfhocel Well-Known Member

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    So we are hitting a snag since phrasing and languages are imperfect. In addition we are a multinational combined....aa community of players and many of us unwittinglyread English coloured by our native languages and their respective context.

    Tldr, how about this: repetitive, subpar and therefore suboptimal choice
     
  4. psychoticstorm

    psychoticstorm Aleph's rogue child
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    Realising, understanding and accepting that every individual person have their own experiences and understanding of the world, shaped by their own culture, religion, and surrounding ideology, is the first step in a better direction, in my opinion.

    And this is what I highlight on the subject, the opinion for everything is subjective, one can find the Tech bee degrading and objectifying, other might find her empowering and beautiful, it is entirely fine to agree to disagree and move on.

    Please remember this is a multinational and multicultural forum, not everybody shares the same cultural beliefs, not even within the same native speaking language group.

    It is highly important to understand that different people have different opinions and understandings of the same situation, words and images and it is entirely fine, if the conflicting ideology is so great, please agree to disagree and move on.
     
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  5. Arkhos94

    Arkhos94 Well-Known Member

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    I'm half way through the book right now (3rd offensive and Pano fluff done).
    A few comments :
    - I get Combined Army is overpowered compared to the human sphere but the "whatever we do, we end up crushed" doesn't feel right. I would have like to see some counter offensive taking back some ground. Right now, the 2 space elevator that brought most of the support and reinforcement are lost so Paradisio is a lost cause. Having the human sphere pushing back on one of them would have feel better

    - Sygma ! I loved seeing more sygma in the fluff. I hope it mean we will see some of them in 2019/2020, maybe even a CA sectorial

    - Maps : this or nothing is the same. I liked the map in uprising but these one are bad

    - The small comics : love them, want more

    PS : I agree with the first post : every female soldier don't need to go with tight close/big breast/sexy figure. I get it that it's coming from the manga inspiration of the game, but we don't need it all the time.
     
  6. Elessar

    Elessar 80stalgic console cowboy

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    Lads this is quite unexpected to me as there's at least a quite easy fix for the miniature scantily clad attitude - in the most known and respected sci-fi anime tradition: data suit!

    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]

    Yes the tech-bee art is not that good, more than a matter of taste is a matter of a reused artwork that stir my inner nerd, yet we could gloss over it. We do know how tech bee is a cherished child of CB team, perfect for a bootleg series, less so for actual combat action though.

    Let us agree to disagree if we do, and keep focusing on the main issue ... bitching about our fav armies model profiles' sense of entitlement (just kidding).
     
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  7. ev0k

    ev0k Well-Known Member

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    "GUYS, THIS IS ABOUT CHOICE FOR A FULL PAGE FEM ART" is what you should have written : no judgement beforehand, then developpe your opinion, wich is totally valid and valuable although not shared by everybody.

    Emphasise mine, but same here : who is "we" ? Pretty unclear... And for those who don't recognise themselves in "we", what happens ? If i agree only 50%, am i 50% "we" or 50% "them" ?
     
    #67 ev0k, Dec 4, 2018
    Last edited: Dec 4, 2018
  8. Solar

    Solar Well-Known Member

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    Are we allowed to talk about this or are we not? Koni said to drop it but I see it carrying on, from a mod no less.
     
  9. Abrilete

    Abrilete Well-Known Member

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    Well, the moderator said "please agree to disagree and move on" (enphasis mine).
     
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  10. ev0k

    ev0k Well-Known Member

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    Sorry, just pointing out that the way we write things may be responsible of far more derailing than the ideas expressed (i still haven't had time to read 3rd Off., so i haven't even seen this picture yet...).

    That's it on my side.
     
  11. Solar

    Solar Well-Known Member

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    How is continuing to discuss the topic moving on?
     
  12. lord farfhocel

    lord farfhocel Well-Known Member

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    @Elessar
    Great mini scheme... I had something like that in mind for my tb. ( like in ten years... when I finally get to her as she is not the highest priority. ;) )
    Now let's Photoshop her some leggins at the design/review stage so we can focus on content.

    Thank you for everyone's input.

    Shall we move on now to the next item about the book?
    Just hope that we have reached the ear of someone collecting the aforementioned suggestions (on all matters) and we can prompt some discussion in CB.
     
  13. xagroth

    xagroth Mournful Echo

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    Started with the first Spanish pages. Got 2 cents to add:

    - Typos. Found one under the CA's assault ship... (a missing letter). In the tube. Reading without paying much attention.

    - Style: while the "reports" are neutral enough that can pass muster as military briefings, the style is, overall, pedantic and repetitive, using words not commonly used in day-to-day language just for the sake of it, several times used wrong to boot. Overuse of adjectives, needed or not, reminds me of Pio Baroja, which is a famous historical writer, but noted for detailing descriptions so much he is utterly boring... It also gives a feeling of lots of talking without any substance at all, almost as if the writer was being paid per word...

    - I find hard to believe "emergency broadcasts" from command will be general, ordering in the same emission for the maintenance people to grab a gun, while at the same time asking for advice beacuse the situation is desperate... not to mention those are loooooong announcements.
    I ask for @Section9 's input here... is that style of overinformation, and using "too cult" words present in the USA millitary? I know it's not in the Spanish one, since I've directed (and had directed) P&P RPG sessions to/from active millitary personnel...

    That being said, it might be just in the Spanish version. And this is just until page 11...
     
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  14. SmaggTheSmug

    SmaggTheSmug Well-Known Member

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    I thought about painting mine the same way or trying to sculpt a cloak on her (since my PanO is winter-themed... Ouch!), but I ended up painting her more or less like catalog. I decided I don't have enough minis with exposed butts (even those scantily clad barbarians I get from Dark Sword usually have some sort of loincloth covering their buttocks). I'd like having the normal, non-bootleg ones in skinny jumpsuits or bodysuits like this officially tough.
    In the RPG there's a piece of art showing Tech-Bee in a combat situation with a Jotum behind her... Now that looks extremely silly :P
     
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  15. psychoticstorm

    psychoticstorm Aleph's rogue child
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    Technically she should not have been there, I do have to point out Tech Bees are not combat personnel and their battlefield presence is more than an inconvenience (for them and the entire PanO chain of command).

    Any Tech Bee on battlefield is there because their presence is considered absolutely necessary or, because the fight engulfed the rear position they are supposed to be.
     
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  16. Cothel

    Cothel Well-Known Member

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    My main issue with the book is that my local game store keeps having to contact their distributor and fight with them to ship the pre-order miniatures that should have been shipped to the store with the pre-ordered books. This is the second book in a row I have pre-ordered that the miniatures didn't come in with the books. Last time it was a extra week to get the miniatures. I am hoping it's the same this time around. I refuse to pick up the book until the miniature shows up so my copy has been sitting in the store since last week.
     
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  17. eciu

    eciu Easter worshiper

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    Oh,

    And whomever had chosen a font which displays "i" as a "1" is really silly.
     
  18. Mob of Blondes

    Mob of Blondes Well-Known Member

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    Carlos Torres. And Luis González as Design Director.
     
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  19. Alkasyn

    Alkasyn Well-Known Member

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    So it wasn't only me.
     
  20. psychoticstorm

    psychoticstorm Aleph's rogue child
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    Can you please contact contact@corvusbelli.com about it? sounds odd.
     
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