Weapons That Don't Exist In Game (And Shouldn't)

Tesium Bottom: EXP CCW that, when hits successfully and reduces enemy unit to zero Wounds, but does not kill them, can be immediately followed up with Tactical Elbow.

Shots-Guns: TAG only weapon. Large cannon that shoots smaller guns as projectiles. Draw a line from the firing model 18" long and 1" wide. Any model partially under this area must make a PH check to dodge out of the way. If they fail, they are hit with a DAM 13 using Shock Ammo. If they survive, they may roll on the Booty L2 chart, but must reroll any ARM bonus results.

Rending Pony Launcher: Launches a Rending Pony.

 

Broker Combi Rifle : when one need to play it aggressivly in the data market.
Haloprojector : an electronic device that lets you play very old retro FPS on your comlog.

 

XXX Visor: a very rare and sought-after device which let you see through the clothes but not the skin of the target. Its use is unrecommended in operation if untrained. Can be joined with a camera or any recording device.

 

This is an excellent joke and bravo, sir

 

420 Visor: Allows the bearer to trace LoF through Smoke, Eclipse Smoke, and Nimbus and Nimbus plus zones without penalty. Provides no benefit against Camouflage, ODD, etc.

 

Reminds me of the reaction to the Mossberg 500 shotgun:

"What was wrong with the first 499 versions?"

 

Greese-gun - makes your opponents make PH roll on move not to get prone. Also can be used in girls close combat to make it more interesting.

 

Polyfilament CCW: Cause everything comes in bulk

Monospectral Visor: For when you want to see just your favourite color

OD.Device: For when you just had enough of life's bullshit.

 

OCD - Obsessive–compulsive Device: You have to reroll any roll as long as the dice show the exact same numbers. All of the dice. Despite the result.

CDO: as above, but with the letters in the right order...

 

@tox: You monster.
I like it.

 

Nothin' Personnel Mines: Teleport behind you

 

Odd Device : No one really know what it does

 

Pig launcher - work like Koalas, but can be fired to enemy positions. In addition - cancel religious troop rule on target.

 

Only works against Haqqislam models tho

 

Concise Device (by Bernice Price): It works.
source for reference:

 

Something that can act without any line of fire, can intuitive attack to freely uncover marker states, and can cripple high-cost models with no risk or counterplay.

...Wait a minute...

 

Standard equipment on all Bakunin models.

 

To be sure, something like this would be an absolutely terrible idea. Were it ever implemented, of course. It would fly in the face of the fundamental gameplay philosophies that make Infinity work and be engaging as a game in the first place.