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Bathroom Diplomacy

Discussion in 'IC [In-Character]' started by WiseKensai, Sep 26, 2019.

  1. WiseKensai

    WiseKensai Rogue Interventor
    Warcor

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    Hello to all citizens of Novyy Bangkok from the Nomad Council!

    In light of recent events [ Combat Log: When Nature Calls ], we would like to remind everyone that The Gorge is currently under lockdown and all trespassers will be given a single warning before Nomad personnel respond with lethal force.

    We do recognize that bathrooms in The Gorge are often a... destination post festivities on The Main Strip. To that end, and to ensure the comfort and most importantly, safety, of all citizens in this trying time, we will be providing temporary bathroom facilities at the entrance to The Gorge.

    [​IMG]

    To reiterate--DO NOT ENTER THE GORGE. You will be fired upon! Please enjoy the use of our temporary restroom facilities, which are located outside the gorge, until such time the Nomad Council lifts the lockdown.

    --WiseKensai, Rogue Interventor
     
    Luisjoey, Asreon_, Einhorn and 8 others like this.
  2. Captain927

    Captain927 Shotguns and Scotch Runs.

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    ... But i just want to stand at the top of The Gorge and piss off the edge of the Human Sphere...
     
    Cabaray and WiseKensai like this.
  3. Brother Smoke

    Brother Smoke Bureau Trimurti Representative

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    Reminder that bathrooms are neutral ground and anyone found violating that neutrality will be tried for war crimes
     
  4. MikeTheScrivener

    MikeTheScrivener O-12 Peace Kepper

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    Reminder that O-12 reserves the right for any member of a Human Sphere nation to call a "Time out" code 236A-8564PEE if they are caught by another with their trousers down.
     
  5. Errhile

    Errhile A traveller on the Silk Road

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    Man, we're talking Nomads here.
    Do I have to explain it in capital letters?
    BAKUNIN.

    "Neutral" just ain't a thing.
    And I'm pretty sure they could teach you a thing or a dozen about violating. The more violative, the funnier...
     
    Danger Rose and WiseKensai like this.
  6. Brother Smoke

    Brother Smoke Bureau Trimurti Representative

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    Well, the stuff they get up to, although SUPER WEIRD and MORALLY REPREHENSIBLE is not technically against the law for the most part
     
    cazboab likes this.
  7. Minos

    Minos Νίκη ἢ Θάνατος

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    ALEPH operatives do not need to piss ... Good try!
     
    WiseKensai likes this.
  8. DukeofEarl

    DukeofEarl Well-Known Member

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    Perhaps fielding more of those abominations you call Hollow Men will help prevent future issues
     
    WiseKensai likes this.
  9. Sabin76

    Sabin76 Well-Known Member

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    Intercepted communication partially decrypted:

    "...immediate manufacture of Unidron regeneration units ... so-called 'porta-potty' ... humans will not ... or destroy these fecal receptacles. ... plans for..."
     
    #9 Sabin76, Sep 27, 2019
    Last edited: Sep 27, 2019
  10. Brother Smoke

    Brother Smoke Bureau Trimurti Representative

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    OOC: Do aliens even have human-like bodily functions? Do Shasvastii brush the teeth in their horrid mouth-things? Do Morats fling their poop??
     
    WiseKensai likes this.
  11. Sabin76

    Sabin76 Well-Known Member

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    OOC: I'm certainly going to be painting my Shas teeth a pearly white! Though I will say that the portions that have not yet been decrypted don't imply that the Unidrons would actually use them for what they look like...
     
    WiseKensai likes this.
  12. Lady Numiria

    Lady Numiria Cyberius TaskForce

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    I heard conspiracy theories on sub-Maya saying this was just a mock-up plan to let Haqqislam brings more HI units.
     
    #12 Lady Numiria, Sep 27, 2019
    Last edited: Sep 27, 2019
  13. Shiwen

    Shiwen Commissar, Yu Jing Political Work Department

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    It is an unfortunate truth that after certain distasteful events aboard the Neon Lotus in Martian orbit, such conspiracies cannot be dismissed out of hand... the once-sacrosanct refuge of the portable lavatory must now be treated as a potential vector for military operations.

    The StateEmpire will continue to pursue our case against Haqqislam on that matter in the Concilium courts. While such legal avenues run their course, we will note that the now-uncertain neutrality of the latrine, alongside evidence of the alien Shasvastii's use of the beloved durian as part of their infiltration into the Human Sphere, represent disruptions to human civilization itself, and thus call on all forces operating on Novyy Bangkok to refrain from using toilets as a theatre for their (non-bowel-related) operations.
     
  14. theGricks

    theGricks Well-Known Member

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    ooc: What is ILO?
     
  15. Lady Numiria

    Lady Numiria Cyberius TaskForce

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    OOC: corrected my original post as my French leaked - I meant HI unit there.
     
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  16. theGricks

    theGricks Well-Known Member

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    Haqqislam can neither confirm, nor deny the use of so called "Porta Potties" as viable transport methods. Haqqislam has a dearth of worthy Space vessels. We do not see what possible reason we could have of stuffing a large heavy infantryman into a small enclosed space for espionage purposes. It's an absolutely ludicrous idea. A single Yu Jing porta potty barely has room, it would be far to cramped.
     
  17. Durian Khaar

    Durian Khaar It's clubbering time...
    Warcor

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    Just imagine all of Tariks Manliness in such confined space. This would disrupt the very fabric of the universe :P
     
    theGricks and WiseKensai like this.
  18. Desanges

    Desanges Nomad Ne'er Do Well

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    The Nomad Nation would like to remind everyone that the blueprints for the Porta Potties in the Gorge are patented by Cosmika and that any attempt to steal their designs (or the potties in question) will be responded to most assiduously with disproportionate firepower.

    Use 'em then leave 'em folks.
     
    WiseKensai likes this.
  19. SpectralOwl

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    Unfortunately, following the incident identified in leaked Yanjing files as "Operation: More Than Meets The Eyes" involving a modified Su-Jian, all Yu Jing-origin toilets, public telephone boxes, electricity substations and similarly-sized installations are considered possible infiltration vectors for large Heavy Infantry units. PanOceanian units visiting public portable toilets are encouraged to ensure the neutrality of the facilities using the lightweight EM Grenades issued with their hygeine equipment.
     
    WiseKensai and Ayaxs like this.
  20. WiseKensai

    WiseKensai Rogue Interventor
    Warcor

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    Surely you meant to say Electric Pulse equipment and not E/M grenades, for that would be a violation of the Concilium Convention!
     
    Errhile likes this.
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