1902 HOURS TO NOMAD HIGH COMMAND FROM HAQQISLAM HIGH COMMAND I would like to lodge a formal complaint regarding the conduct of the officers you have sent to liaise with us at Bhai University. We did not receive a single communication from them since their arrival and assignment of quarters, despite our repeated requests for an explanation regarding your fixation on dolphins as a strategic objective. That was until earlier today when I received a message from your officers asking me to come to their quarters, upon which they would, and I quote, 'explain how the dolphins are literally the most important thing on the planet'. Upon arriving into their smog filled quarters, it was obvious that none of your officers were particularly lucid, with their commander requiring several heavy taps on the shoulder to even realize I was there. After being informed that they were 'hotboxing' their quarters, I was then subjected to a rambling, bizarre rant regarding speaking, super intelligent dolphins, the plight of the Omn on Varuna and 'dolphipodes'. I must admit that I could only spend five minutes in the room before having to excuse myself - I think the smoke in the room was starting to effect my senses. I have no personal opposition to the use of psychedelics, but I think it reasonable to ask that your officers are not under the effect of such compounds while they are on duty, especially given the chaotic state of the larger situtation.
NOT JUST THE DOLPHINS, BUT THE ORCAS AND THE BELUGA WHALES TOO And don't forget about the octopi. We need to save our pilots™, this is our most important duty to the Nomad nation.
To: Haqqislam High Command From: Nomad High Command Greetings esteemed allies. We regret that you feel the need to issue this complaint and wish to remind you of our Nomad High Command Memo No. 412 issued to all allies where we reminded all our valued partners that 'hotboxing' falls in line with Nomad combat readiness protocols. Quite frankly, it is baffling to us that all the other high commands haven't adopted this practice as it accounts for 100% of Nomad successes in the field. Still, we are sorry for any unease this may have caused you. Please find included in this message a sample of edibles and a coupon for a free Pupnik redeemable from any Bakunin mission. We hope that this communication clarifies the Nomad position and clears up an ill feelings between us long-standing and valued allies. Yours sincerely, Commander Desanges
(OOC) I need to remind you that uplifted cephalopods also include cuttlefish, never forget the cuttlefish!, they are the most intelligent of them all! (/OOC)
