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W tee Eff?!

Discussion in 'Off-Topic English' started by ShaeKonnit, Jan 15, 2018.

  1. colbrook

    colbrook Grenade Delivery Specialist

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    It's both!
     
  2. Aldo

    Aldo Spare 15

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    Good, both is good.


    Also, today I dragged a drowned boar out of a pond and then buried it.

    Stupid thing got carried away by last weeks rains and couldn't get out, I guess. Bet it played Aleph too.
     
    Xeurian, Barrogh and colbrook like this.
  3. FireFangs

    FireFangs Space Oni

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    Should have eaten it. I know I would have.
     
  4. MikeTheScrivener

    MikeTheScrivener O-12 Peace Kepper

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    yum, rain water wild animal
     
  5. FireFangs

    FireFangs Space Oni

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    You cook it first, silly!
     
  6. Section9

    Section9 Well-Known Member

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    It's more fun if you read it as both at the same time.
     
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  7. ShaeKonnit

    ShaeKonnit Well-Known Member

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    Well, here's a great one from this morning:
    We got a letter through from the water company saying we owed them over £300 for the business premises. As you could expect, I said "What in the fffff...."; as far as I knew we'd paid them the pittance we owe them every month.
    So I checked the customer number and yup, it wasn't ours - it was for someone else.
    There was also something odd about the address, in that it was mostly correct. Problem is that the local business area used to be one big plot owned by a company which made train carriages and has long since been broken up into smaller units. Checking the address, it was a plot used by a bus company, Hall's Coaches, who up and left a couple of years ago.
    By the looks of it, the water company got confused by the lack of correspondance from Hall's, looked up a map and went, "Hmmmmmmmm-there!" and made a best guess as to who owed them money.
     
  8. jherazob

    jherazob Well-Known Member

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    The swift workings of bureaucracy!
     
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  9. ShaeKonnit

    ShaeKonnit Well-Known Member

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    We got another one!
    This time a bill from Scottish Water for clearing a blocked drain but for a business 4 doors down from us.
     
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  10. jherazob

    jherazob Well-Known Member

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    It's clear that your address is at the moment Unplottable
     
  11. Brother Smoke

    Brother Smoke Bureau Trimurti Representative

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    Alright, time to eat the whole brownie tray
     
  12. FireFangs

    FireFangs Space Oni

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    Wait, those aren't the pot ones! Those are normal brownies!
     
  13. Pen-dragon

    Pen-dragon Deva

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    I was brought a computer today.

    "Can you wipe and restore this computer? We need a clean install"

    Sure thing I say. Boot it up, and get the message;
    'Your virus database has not been updated in 2,357 days'

    Total reset it is then!
     
  14. jherazob

    jherazob Well-Known Member

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    The wonders you see on tech support, i don't miss them...
     
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  15. tox

    tox SorriBarai
    Warcor

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    New WTF today. Please remember that my interlocutor is the head of maintenance of the productive unit.

    - We need to open a call to assistance for this machine.
    - Why, please?
    - There is this sensor that doesn't work anymore.
    - It works. I was called last Friday and I gave instruction to [electric team] to fix it.
    - But it doesn't work.
    - Ok, let me know when you are available and we'll look into it. It is a waste to open a call when we (read as even I) can fix it in MINUTES.

    36 hours later... Really, with a production line blocked for this!
    - Ok, I'm here as agreed. Where are you?
    - I have to bring this on the other line and I'll be back.

    Then I proceed to check. The sensor DOES work, the problem is on another equipment. And not something maddening, just a value to change in the parameters.
    In half an hour i managed to identify the problem, fix it, test the machine for further problems, fix an anomaly, even have a chat with the operators.

    Do you think my original interlocutor came back?
     
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  16. MikeTheScrivener

    MikeTheScrivener O-12 Peace Kepper

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    it sounds like you work on a Borg cube
     
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  17. tox

    tox SorriBarai
    Warcor

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    I would sometimes be glad to.
     
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  18. jherazob

    jherazob Well-Known Member

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    A Borg cube would be far more efficient
     
  19. Section9

    Section9 Well-Known Member

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    That would be why it needs to be nuked&paved.

    Then again, it's six and a half years old, I am surprised that Win10 even runs on it...


    You and me both (and I was working on a government network, with forcibly-updated virus definitions that the user could not refuse to do...)
     
  20. csjarrat

    csjarrat Well-Known Member

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    Stick Linux on it. Works a treat on older hardware
     
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