A Morat, a Shee'skin and a Kazak Spetsnaz walk into a bar. In the morning, the Kazak is back on his guard duty and the other two are still regenerating ;)
...until you realize that Kazak is not obeying orders, is charging your Lt., and brandishing a monofilament blade...
I take offense to this! I am neither a monkey nor am i a stay at home moratwife! *storms off with bone blade* What do you call an Oznat going to battle? Walking the hungries.
Thread Necromancy, POWERRRRRRR!!!! (I'm bored, sorry not sorry) Okay, now that N4 has turned our troops into *BEAST MODE*, it's time to add to the 'Things Oyat Karakot is no longer allowed to do' List: 71 - We are aware the Sogarats experienced a decrease in their physical capabilities. This was made to compensate heavier weapons systems and other changes in the armor, it's not because they 'skip leg day'. 72 - No, you can't have 'whatever the Daturazi are taking', they're not using drugs, they're just training more. 73 - The enhanced Sniper Rifles are an exclusivity of the Yaogat Regiment for urban combat. We're not giving them to anyone else. 74 - Zerats have had their camouflage ability improve. This is not because they are 'uglier than a Shasvastii' 75 - Taryots are not 'Dreadnought-lites'. We have no idea what a Dreadnought is other than a large Spacefaring warship. 76 - Yelling 'Here comes the boom!' or any other variant when Taryots drop is, while fun, a bad idea. We don't want the humans to know they're coming until it's too late. 77- The tactical links were further reinforced to allow the TAG pilots to use the lieutenant-only net. This does not allow you to slap your commanding officer and say "Look at me. I'm the lieutenant now." 78 - The Sogarats got larger weapons because their armor is heavy enough to support it. They don't have TAG-Envy. 79 - Making 'compensating for something' jokes around the Sogarats is frowned upon. 79a - This doesn't mean you can make said jokes if you are frowning. 80 - Rasyats are our specialist diplomatic forces and excellent assassins. They're not 'Monkey Van Zant' 80a - Even if the human known as Van Zant does behave a lot like one of them. 81 - Suryats got Multispectral Visors on their suits to improve combat effectiveness. They don't need glasses. 82 - Daring Taryots to commit reckless acts because 'They want to die anyways' is not allowed. We don't want to waste resources. 83 - Yes, we gave you two assault pistols. Yes, they fire faster than the TAG machinegun. That doesn't mean you should jump out of the TAG to get 'more dakka' 84 - You already have enough 'dakka' 84a - Apparently, I was wrong. You cannot have enough 'dakka'. Still, no jumping out of the TAG, damnit! 85 - Our Oznat huntresses do have an improved sense of smell. They won't smell your finger. 85a - They will also not smell "what The Rock is cooking" 85b - Nor will they use their enhanced smell sense to find your lost socks 85c - Okay, no asking the Oznats to smell anything. 86 - Sometimes your TAG will be followed by an officer or Treitak operative. They're there to help accomplish objectives, they're not your chaperone. 87 - Inviting your attached officer for a drink after battle is a good idea. Offering them a beer during a shootout is not. 87a - Raktorak Vardek does it because he is that crazy. 88 - Your armor has been severely reinforced. This is not an excuse to get shot at. 89 - Every Morat operative has been issued a Heavy Pistol. This is to improve our close-quarters battle, not to improve our 'drip'. 90 - I had to check what 'drip' means. Sigh. No appropriation of obscure human slang. 91 - Every operative also had their Biotechnical Shielding improved. This is not an excuse to start drinking contests. 91a - Although we will allow drinking contests during downtime. 91b - You were the one who challenged the Superior Warrior Officer to a drinking contest. Your loss is entirely your fault. 92 - Mercenary Kendrat was not issued a Heavy Pistol. Please point and laugh. 93 - High Command is not responsible for broken limbs as a result of laughing at Mercenary Kendrat. 94 - Mercenary Kendrat does in fact use combat drugs, as do other Krakots. She will not share them with you. 94a - Neither will the other Krakots for that matter. 95 - Zerats can now lay mines before a battle. Mocking them for taking 10 years to learn how to dig a hole is not allowed.
Hahaha--10 years to learn how to dig a hole. It's funny because it's true. I mean... I said nothing! It was that guy over there! I'm not even here! *activates TO camo* Sent from my SM-G960U using Tapatalk
I love the clarifications. I can almost smell the "OK, no one would be that stupid- ...apparently, some ARE that stupid." thought process.
