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W tee Eff?!

Discussion in 'Off-Topic English' started by ShaeKonnit, Jan 15, 2018.

  1. Pen-dragon

    Pen-dragon Deva

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    Just in case anyone is actually using this thread as tips on computer use, I should probably stress that you just turn off the firewall to see if that is the problem. Never leave your firewall off! If it works after you turn off your firewall, you have a problem with your firewall. You still need to fix it, but at least you know where the proverbial needle is in the proverbial haystack.
     
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  2. sonicReducer

    sonicReducer Well-Known Member

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    I've worked for my boss for about 9 years. He's always been really good to me but he has a terrible habit of sending me work at 4 in the afternoon
     
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  3. Brother Smoke

    Brother Smoke Bureau Trimurti Representative

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    Isn't that just the freaking worst? Bonus points for "This is an urgent request, please have it ready by COB"
     
  4. colbrook

    colbrook Grenade Delivery Specialist

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    My favourite is "Can you move and rearrange these 5 desks by Monday" asked at 4pm on a Friday...
     
  5. leigen_zero

    leigen_zero Morat Pacifist

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    Hey, all they specified was 'Monday', so it needs to be done by a monday, I don't see anywhere specifying exactly which monday it needs to be done by...
     
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  6. colbrook

    colbrook Grenade Delivery Specialist

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    I've given up trying to argue semantics with lawyers
     
  7. Section9

    Section9 Well-Known Member

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    Had one like that. My immediate response was, "Does this absolutely need to be done today, or can I deal with it first thing tomorrow?" I usually did filing and stuff about 3x a week.
     
  8. Brother Smoke

    Brother Smoke Bureau Trimurti Representative

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    I only argue with lawyers outside of work because i have lawyer friends

    At work, I just tell them
     
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  9. Vakarian

    Vakarian Bad Nomad

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    It's even better when we get to argue Infinity rules with lawyers!

    (I'm a law student... And yes our group has a real lawyer).
     
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  10. ShaeKonnit

    ShaeKonnit Well-Known Member

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    My friend who works for one of the most evil companies in the entire world is often baffled by their business practice.
    He was sent out to Saudi Arabia to help with the testing on some pumping equipment.
    When he got there, turned out the testing rig itself was broken and unusable.
    They had two options - transport 50kg of testing rig from another country to them...
    Or ship 5 tons of equipment to the testing rig and back.
    Guess which they opted for?

    And just recently he was also sent to a country in South America for a job but upon arrival he was told there was a bit of a fuck-up with the paperwork so he'd have to live in the airport for a few days and whatever he did he must not set foot outside!
    A few days later he was brought back, having done no work.

    I can only guess the guy who signs the cheques does it with his off-hand, while playing Spider Solitaire with the other.
     
  11. leigen_zero

    leigen_zero Morat Pacifist

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    Didn't know GW hand a hand in pumping equipment, nor such an extravagant travel & expenses policy
     
  12. xagroth

    xagroth Mournful Echo

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    A lawyer, a programmer and an Infinity player get into a bar...
     
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  13. gamma ray

    gamma ray Well-Known Member
    Warcor

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    FTFY XD

    A further update to the leaking ceiling/roof in my colleague's office. The computer has been replaced.

    No sign of the roof being fixed yet though...
     
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  14. Xeurian

    Xeurian Well-Known Member

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    Hope they got a waterproof rig. Sounds like it would be a good investment.
     
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  15. Brother Smoke

    Brother Smoke Bureau Trimurti Representative

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    Latest from the dumbassery of upper management.

    We're having a meeting with another state's leadership about several applications my team has built because they want us to give them similar ones. Present in the meeting are: The customer, my boss, my boss's equivalent (let's call her Director A) from that state and myself, presenting.

    The costumer absolutely gushes over our tools and applications while Director A is dead silent the whole time.

    At the end of the meeting the customer asks for a time estimate of when we can have everything ready for her

    Boss: Oh, shouldn't take long. I would say a week for the data layer and another week for the applications to be functional
    Director A: That's physically impossible, your architecture simply won't allow it
    Me: Um, well everything is already built, and we have implemented it for several states already so...
    Director A: That simply can't be

    My boss and I are speechless at this point

    Customer: So what do you propose?
    Director A: My team can deliver a suite of applications based on [architecture 2.0] by the end of the month
    Boss: Oh, that's great! Maybe you could share your notes after it's done
    Customer: Are you sure you can deliver on that? We need these tools ASAP
    Director A: Piece of cake

    After the meeting I asked my boss what all that was about. He told me she is not going to be able to deliver, because we are the ones setting up [architecture 2.0] and it's not going to be ready until the second quarter of 2019, so basically she has nothing. This lady is just desperate to deliver anything because she's under corrective action and overheard something about [architecture 2.0] and has been telling everyone she will have it ready by the end of the month.
     
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  16. Pierzasty

    Pierzasty Null-Space Entity

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    Objection! That's an unfair advantage for the lawyer.
     
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  17. xagroth

    xagroth Mournful Echo

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    Irony of life & Destiny: 3 weeks later she delivers [Architecture 1.0] with a barnish that makes it look like 2.0 XD
     
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  18. Brother Smoke

    Brother Smoke Bureau Trimurti Representative

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    I would be honestly impressed
     
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  19. Del S

    Del S Tunguskaball

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    [​IMG]
    This man is extremely hipster. So hipster,in fact, that nothing he does will ever be cool. It is impossible for him to have ever been into anything before it was cool. He is so hipster he has emerged into the other side of hipsterdom, a nega-hipster.
     
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  20. Pierzasty

    Pierzasty Null-Space Entity

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    *is a human equivalent of an advertising leaflet* "Looking me in the eye is so invasive, muh privacy"

    Seriously the most WTF thing of the entire article.
     
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