W tee Eff?!

Discussion in 'Off-Topic English' started by ShaeKonnit, Jan 15, 2018.

  1. Red Harvest

    Red Harvest Day in, Day out. Day in, Day out. Day in, DAY OUT

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    Search Muffin Top.

    Bermuda shorts are best worn with Hawaiian shirts.
     
  2. tox

    tox SorriBarai
    Warcor

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    @Corwin and his group are in Bologna. I'm in Faenza (50 km away).
    Keep us updated!
     
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  3. Flipswitch

    Flipswitch Sepsitorised by Intent

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    Had a Ukrainian girl leave a voice message on my phone telling me she loves me and wants to marry me

    Dates: 2
     
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  4. Errhile

    Errhile A traveller on the Silk Road

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    Well...

    I've been hunting for a suit recently: my buddy is getting married soon, and I've noticed I've outgrown my previous suit (don't let anyone tell you working out has no downsides - the trousers still do fit me, but the jacket became too narrow in the shoulders...). Yes, local custom and manners say it is one of those occasions where you should be wearing a suit.

    I've secured some help (after all, feeling good in it is one thing, but you also have to look well in it), and went out cruising men's fashion stores for a suitable suit. I must admit, I had the best help possible - my friend is a tailor by trade and a former wedding salon worker by experience. She knows that kind of stuff.

    We started at a brand store of a respectable company, where I've learned that current men's fashion calls for a "slim fit", hugging close to the body. I could, possibly, find a jacket that fit me, but matching trousers... oh dear. Apparently a modern gentleman has legs thin a toothpick. They were not able to find me trousers I could sit in (I mean, safely sit down, and safely get up, wihout the said article of clothing getting ripped to pieces...). And no, the best alternative they could offer me was a custom-tailored suit (making one turned out to be way more expensive than I was willing to spend).

    We've checked a number of stores (and I've tried on more suits than I care to count), and this problem was more common than I was ready to believe... Luckily, another respectable company's designers seem to be aware that not all the men in the world are 18-year-olds with toothpick-thin limbs... so, yeah, I got me a nice suit in the end.
     
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  5. Durian Khaar

    Durian Khaar It's clubbering time...
    Warcor

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    That is why I hate clothes shopping.
    While I am not on the completely slim side of the spectrum, I am not chubby either. But working in my fathers vineyard, archery and swordfighting did something to my body.
    Now if I want a nice piece of clothing, I need to drive 120km to get to THE ONLY SHOP that carries clothes that fit and do not look like a tent or a sausage net....
     
  6. colbrook

    colbrook Grenade Delivery Specialist

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    If only you lived in Bermuda...
     
  7. DrunkCorsair

    DrunkCorsair Well-Known Member

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    You are not alone in this.
    Decided to eat more healty and stuff and lost around 30 kg (thats around 60 lbs) over some time, i noticed that my trousers didnt fit anymore when i pulled them out as i am only wearing kilts around the warm months which fit different.

    Tried to buy some jeans for the cold months when i dont wear my work clothes. Only found slim, supper slim, skinny and i-have-no-balls cuts.
    As i have fat lower legs trying on that stuff was a torture, after the second pair i told the saleswomen to get some regular fit or i will cut open the next pair.
     
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  8. Section9

    Section9 Well-Known Member

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    That's why I wear actual BDU-cut cargo pants (or the newer ACU cut if I'm wearing camo). My legs are built for carrying 250+lbs of grunt around, which means even Levis or Wrangler "loose" cut fit like sausage casings.
     
  9. Danger Rose

    Danger Rose The Wrecking Belles

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    I swear to Odin, this was my experience when I went to Madrid. Worst part was my wife taking me out shopping for "Elegant Clothes, from a more Civilized Age" only to have the cut end too low on my hip and waaaaay too high on my nether regions. I swear I had never felt my balls tap out before.
     
  10. Errhile

    Errhile A traveller on the Silk Road

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    My preferred everyday wear are surplus British Army barrack trousers. For similar reasons (plus, well, it is not like dress code is strictly enforced where I work, but I don't feel cargo pants would be appropriate), though I'm far away from being 250+ lbs ;).

    But there are moments where one has to look formal.

    On the other hand, I guess the male fashion has kind of made a circle, and we're coming back to the very close-fitting - and very revealing, honestly - look of the men in tights. ;)
     
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  11. leigen_zero

    leigen_zero Morat Pacifist

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    Whatever happened to the ridiculous loose-fitting skater jeans from the turn of the millenium. Seriously, they were the most comfortable jeans ever, haven't owned a pair of jeans I felt truly comfy in since nu-metal died.

    All this talk of skinny jeans reminds me of a joke:
    Man goes to the doctors for yet another appointment for the blinding headaches he's had since he was 16.
    'Well, there's good news and bad news' the doctor says
    'Hit me' replies the man
    'The good news is, we've finally found the source of your headaches, the bad news is that they are caused by your testicles pushing on your tailbone, which is compressing your neck vertebrae which is causing the headaches, so the only cure is castration'
    'Fuck it'
    the man says, 'I haven't had a day without a blinding, debilitating headache since I was 16, I'll do anything to just have a normal life'
    'Righto' says the doctor, 'I'll book you in for surgery'.

    So the day of the surgery comes, the operation is successful and the man is now headache and testicle-free.
    'You know what, I feel soo good now the headaches are gone, I'm going to go shopping for some new jeans'
    So the man walks into the clothing store, and asks the clerk for some help choosing the right fit of jeans,
    'oh, just one more question sir, to make sure we get the best fit, what size underwear to you wear?'
    'Medium my good man' he says
    'really sir?' the clerk replies
    'Yep, since I was 16',
    'Well sir' replies the clerk, 'you might want to get some larger underwear too, it's just that based on my reckoning and your inner leg measurements, if you wore medium size underwear it would push your testicles against your tailbone and compress your neck vertebrae'
     
  12. Rizzy

    Rizzy Armchair Strategos L3

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    When I bought the suit I wore to my buddy's wedding (can't look bad if you are the best man) it took me ages to find a pair of trousers that fit. "fit" as in, we had a tailor take off about five centimeters of leg. For normal sizes my thighs were either to big or my butt wasn't big enough XD
     
  13. sonicReducer

    sonicReducer Well-Known Member

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    Same here. I have a 34" waist but big legs so trouser shopping is a constant battle between legs that aren't tight and waists that aren't mahoosive.

    On another note I just heard a woman in the office refer to Hugo Weaving as starring in Lord of the Rings as "Elrond, King of the Elves' Dad"
    Lol
     
  14. Solar

    Solar Well-Known Member

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    "Oh look at me, women are falling in love with me, life is so hard"
     
  15. Flipswitch

    Flipswitch Sepsitorised by Intent

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    It's a hard life.
     
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  16. Danger Rose

    Danger Rose The Wrecking Belles

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    I recieved several Ambulances today out of the blue and without warning. All claiming the lines to my ER were down. I check the phone and relize some joker had silenced the phones.

    I'm ready to channel Leam Neesson and hunt this person down.
     
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  17. ShaeKonnit

    ShaeKonnit Well-Known Member

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    On clothing, formal suits are not something I usually wear. I could probably count the number of times I've worn such a thing on one hand and still have change.
    Last year I got invited to a friend's wedding reception, and thought that was an ideal time to break out the only suit I've got. Last time I wore it was from before my heafty weight loss.
    Thankfully the dress code wasn't so formal, and was "smart casual", so I didn't have the wear the damn thing. The friend in question had the perfect description for how the suit was fitting - "Like a kid dressing up like his da for a laugh."
     
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  18. chromedog

    chromedog Less than significant minion

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    I have two suits.
    One was made for my younger sister's wedding.
    The other was for my own.

    One suit has been worn more times than the other (my wedding suit has been worn 4 times, 3 since the wedding). I've been to 5 funerals since that wedding.
    Guess which one got that duty?

    Although I did refer to it as a funeral suit at the time (well, the groom's life DID end when he married her. ).
     
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  19. chromedog

    chromedog Less than significant minion

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    So, Kinda like this?

    [​IMG]
     
  20. Section9

    Section9 Well-Known Member

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    I'm getting to the point that I will wear a kilt under the suitcoat, rather than try to find non-BDU trousers that fit. Clan Scott, as best I can tell, though the USN sett would be just as valid for formal wear.

    The other option is the flex-fabric that the suits body-builders use, and I don't have the legs to pull that off.
     
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